A Sinner Saved by Grace
Testimony of Tai Mern Yee
Born in Sin
I was born 1969 in Singapore, the second son and middle child of three children in a family which was traditional Chinese, where the worship of idols was the norm, with the family altar reserved for 大伯公tua pek kong.
My childhood was not a time of plenty, and with a covetous heart, I was a frequent shoplifter, at home, from shops, supermarkets, etc. A favourite trick of mine was to steal beer bottles from storage places behind shophouses, and ‘returning’ them to the shopkeepers for 5 cents per bottle, enough for snacks and chewing gum.
Only by the grace and unseen hand of God, I managed somehow to muster enough points to get through the PSLE, ‘O’ Levels and then to get to Raffles Junior College (RJC).
Saved by Grace
Mei Lan, now my wife, was in the same orientation group as I was in JC1 at RJC in 1986, and as we took the same public bus route (No 20) to junior college, we got to spend time together. She was studious and serious, a high achieving student, totally opposite from me. She invited me to Life Bible-Presbyterian Church (Life BPC), and being totally smitten with her, I could not say no. I attended a good number of Youth Fellowship (YF) meetings in 1986 and 1997.
By the grace of God I was saved at the inaugural Lively Teens Fellowship (LTF) meeting held at the parsonage in 1987. The fellowship was started by Dr Jeffrey and sister Jemima who had invited us for that first meeting. On the bus No 180 home, I prayed the sinners’ prayer. That was the only LTF meeting I attended though, as we felt we were a tad too old!
Backslidden
National Service (NS) came too early for me, derailing my spiritual growth—being new in the faith and with little grounding in the Word, my enthusiasm to be a testimony for the Lord lasted a total of one day in Pulau Tekong.
I behaved as an uncouth and unbelieving recruit, and I stopped attending church. Other than Mei Lan, who pleaded with me and prayed for me, brother Tan Kwang Meng also tried to reach out to me.
Rebuked
During NS, I was steeped in sin, and angry with the world. The news in 1988 that my father had contracted advanced cancer of the liver was a blow, though not a surprise given that he had spent his life drinking heavily, smoking and gambling. His illness, and that of my maternal grandmother, for a period made me extra bitter. I was also consumed with trying to earn more money along with my brother to keep the family afloat and I forgot God.
My father died after a 2-year fight with the cancer. One of my lasting impressions of his final days was taking a taxi with him to meet his brother, to borrow money for a last fling at 4D. It was a moment that filled me with great anguish, sorrow and pain. My grandmother died soon after as well. Those were God’s warnings to me to come back to him, but I was still hardened.
Restored
Given a place at the National University of Singapore (NUS) in 1990 and armed with a student loan from PSC, I resolved to study as hard as I could. For the first time in my life, I was serious, conscientious and disciplined in my studies. By allocation, I was given a short course on Philosophy in my first year at NUS. It was not my choice but the Lord used it as a means to bring me back. Mei Lan, knowing how I still resisted stepping back to church encouraged me instead to attend the Fundamental Christian Ministry (FCM) at the Medicine/Science faculties. There was another philosophy class on, and it was Rev Stephen Khoo teaching the book of Ecclesiastes. I was captivated, and the philosophy of Solomon was used by God, through Rev Stephen Khoo to guide me back to Him.
Reconsecration
I was baptised in 1992, a good six years after I first stepped into Life BPC. I was also inducted as a member of the YF. There I took my first step into Christian service, drawing by hand the covers for the regular YF magazine, ‘Challenge and Missions’. I thank God for the many YFers who showed love and encouragement to me as I came back to the Lord. I also got the first taste of missions work, helping with Vacation Bible School (VBS) in Medan for two years in teams led by our late brother Henry Tan.
Moving on to Young Adults’ Fellowship (YAF) was more difficult than I thought, and brother Ng Choon Seng was instrumental in ‘yoking’ me the right way. He would keep tabs on me to make sure I attended YAF, and he caught me a few times ‘escaping’ as I was too tired, having spent time playing football with fellow YFers on Saturday mornings!
It was also in 1995 that I started teaching in the Sunday School, my first class being the Young Teens department. I also had the privilege to help organise and chair weddings for our brethren. My first go at being Wedding Coordinator was for brother Kwang Meng and sister Suay Meng who trusted me despite me being a novice.
A Threefold Cord
The happiest day of my life apart from the day the Lord saved me was 25th December 1995, when Mei Lan and myself were married by our late beloved Pastor, the Rev Timothy Tow. We had to seek wisdom from him as my relatives gave us considerable difficulties, demanding that we pay homage to my late father by bowing before his portrait during the wedding tea ceremony, wanting us to change our wedding date to an ‘auspicious’ date according to their religion, insisting on alcohol being served at the wedding dinner, etc. By the grace of God, He helped us through, and with the wisdom given to Rev Tow, we were able to fend off these distractions and yielded to none.
Open Doors
We also began to settle into the YAF, and I had the benefit to learn from many good teachers and leaders in the group. I was also trained and thereafter asked to lead BS. Other avenues of service that opened up included editorial work for the ‘Channel’, the regular YAF publication, a copy of which I had the utmost pleasure and privilege of presenting to Rev Tow at the parsonage each time it was hot off the press. I thank God that unworthy as I was, He allowed me to serve in the Exco of the YAF, and later as YAF Chairman.
During this period, Mei Lan and myself were greatly thankful to the Lord for He also gave us our first born Cae Ryn in 1997 and our first son Dae Ern in 1999.
Reaching the ‘ripe old age’ of 32, it was time to bid adieu to the YAF. By God’s will and design, our late brother Henry Tan, then deacon in Life asked me to assist him as Assistant Sunday School Superintendant for the Adults’ Department. The same year, still unworthy as I was, the Lord called me to further service as deacon of Life BPC.
Conflict
The next step of the journey was to be steeper. All the tribulations I had encountered in the years with the YF and YAF as its leader were not half as traumatic as what I witnessed in Session meetings over the VPP issue. The meetings were truly vexations of the spirit and I was greatly discouraged and heartbroken to witness the lambasting our late Pastor Rev Tow had to endure. Many a night after Session meetings I spent sleepless; how much more trying then it must have been for Rev Tow. Families and friendships were torn asunder by the conflict, and I found myself often feeling downcast as we navigated through flying accusations, counter accusations and rumours. I thank God that He was always beside me and Mei Lan, despite those lonely days.
Taking a Stand
Finally, things came to a head in 2003, and Rev Tow resigned from Session. It was time for me to take a stand, and I did so, for what I believed was the right doctrine concerning the Word of God, and hence as the youngest deacon then in Life Church Session, together with six elders, we followed our Pastor Rev Tow as he led us to cross over our river Jordan and start True Life Bible-Presbyterian Church by the grace of God.
Ground Work
It was an exciting work for the Lord, and there was much to be done. I was glad many others took on the work with enthusiasm. I had wanted to take a back seat having been exhausted with the strife in Life BPC and was deeply discouraged, but God had other plans. He sent brothers Lok Kwok Wah and Barnabas Yap to encourage me and to prod me to take on an active role in this new work.
By the grace and power of God, and led by our pastor Rev Tow, Far Eastern Bible College Lord’s Day Service, the forerunner of True Life BPC was started. I praise God always for the undeserved opportunities He gave me to serve Him, as Treasurer for the Interim Committee of the FEBC Lord’s Day Service, starting the Adults’ Sunday School class with a book study on James, and beginning the evangelism work in Clementi and Bukit Panjang with brother Kwok Wah. I was also privileged to assist our late Elder Mahadevan in running our first church camp at Mersing in 2004, and later coordinate the next camp in 2005. It was wonderful to organise the first Easter Sunrise service at Labrador Park with brother Steve Chng, who did most of the work. I was also thankful to be given the opportunity by Dr Jeffrey to lead the Catechism class and help out with infrequent preaching assignments at Kemaman Life Bible-Presbyterian Church. I was humbled when God also allowed me to serve as deacon in the first Session of True Life. Truly, most unworthy was I from then till now, and yet the Lord by His grace and according to His purpose condescended to use little me.
We praise God that He also blessed Mei Lan and myself with our youngest child Eyan Ern in 2005.
Lessons in Germany
The call to Germany came in 2007 out of the blue. We were happily serving in True Life and I had just been in my job at a German company for nine months when it was decided that I should take on a new challenge in headquarters in Mainz starting August 2007.
It was to be another testimony of God’s grace upon us, how the Lord led us to Rhein Valley Independent Baptist Church, a small independent Baptist church started by US military personnel in Wiesbaden. We were there by God’s purpose to be encouragers of the brethren when there was no pastor for several months and lay men of God preached and ministered to the congregation and Mei Lan sometimes played the piano for service. When Pastor Bracher came from America to lead the flock, he had to be a tent-maker, frying tacos at the fast food store Taco Bell as the church could not afford to fully support a full time minister. It was an eye opener for us who had grown up in church in Singapore, and we spent much meaningful time with a good number of American military families, in church, at their homes and at the military bases, encouraging one another in the Lord, and imbibing traditional American values and food!
We also thank God we could reach out to our elderly German neighbours, and a family from the Netherlands from the children’s school who spent time with us in caroling and heard the gospel at a Christmas praise service in our home.
Waiting Patiently on the Lord
God sent us back to Singapore in July 2009, and for the first time in a long time, no doors were opened for service. It was to be another period of struggle; having been active in the Lord’s work for many years till then, our hearts felt very burdened to be ‘unemployed’ in service. Heavy laden with doubt and uncertainty, we prayed and prayed to the Lord, asking Him to search our hearts, and confessing our sins, asked Him to forgive us. The Lord gave us peace and showed us His higher thoughts and ways, directing us to rejoin some of our previous church activities, and we soon started joining fellow True Lifers for evangelism at Bukit Panjang again. Thank God He also reopened the door to Kemaman Life BPC, so that I could serve with the brethren there.
In early 2010, we brought my mother to a Chinese gospel rally at Gethsemane Bible-Presbyterian Church. There Mei Lan and I mused about how wonderful it would be if True Life were to start a Chinese service. It was very soon after that that we caught wind that such a service would indeed be started in True Life, and at the Easter Sunrise service in April 2010, I asked Dr Jeffrey if I could help out in the Chinese Service.
I thank God that He opened the door of service at our True Life Chinese Service, not only with the worship service which commenced in May 2010, but also with the starting of the Chinese Fellowship in November 2010. Dr Jeffrey also asked me to share God’s word on a rostered basis at Kemaman Life BPC’s Chinese service, which is a new and very steep challenge! God the Master Planner did plan it all—my ten years of immersion in Higher Chinese in Catholic High School helped me in learning His Word in our mother tongue!
Decision to Serve Him
There was to be another twist. With my job, I have to travel almost weekly. From late 2010, we began praying for a less hectic job, especially so that I could be at home more and could also serve the Lord better. Out of the blue, in January this year, the company requested that we consider relocating to China to take on the challenges of growth there.
At the same time, Dr Jeffrey asked me to consider standing for election as a deacon again. With the current load of travel, such a responsibility would be nigh impossible, and should I accept the posting to Shanghai, we would be again waving goodbye to our brethren in True Life and to the avenues of service once again.
Mei Lan and myself believed this was a time for us to choose, to serve God or to serve our secular ambitions and worldly progress. Again we prayed and sought the Lord, and we turned the company’s request down, and I also asked to take a step back in my career. One truly cannot serve God and mammon. God gave in return great peace in our hearts!
Next Steps
We now await the Lord’s guidance in our next steps, step by step, day by day. But we trust the good hand of the Lord that has been so evident in our lives to continue to lead us and protect us. As with Joshua and his family, who would serve the Lord, may the Lord be pleased to use me and my family who are most unworthy in His service, and also guide us in our daily walk with Him. May God help me and my family to be faithful servants of Him who has always been faithful to us and ever will be!
“Now therefore fear the LORD, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served…but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” (Joshua 24:14, 15). Only a sinner saved by grace.
[God willing, Brother Tai Mern Yee will rejoin the Session as a deacon, pending the elections at the coming ACM, 17 April 2011. Please be informed that the current Session comprising Rev Jeffrey Khoo, Eld J T Joseph, Dn Philip Goh, Dn Charles Kan, Dn Leong Kwok Whye, Dn Tan Beng Lee, and Dn Wilson Tan will be standing for reelection to serve for another term. I humbly submit myself for election as pastor. JK]
